Written slowly, in between shipping.
This was an internship. Just not a typical one. I didn't join a company to observe or follow instructions. I worked from my own company, Suggestied, while operating inside a professional environment that expected ownership, judgment, and results.
Most people don't decide to waste their time. It happens quietly. A few minutes here. A scroll because you're tired. Another tab. Another notification. Nothing dramatic. Nothing obviously wrong.
Most people don't wake up wanting to run a rat race. It happens slowly. You start comparing. You see what others have. You notice what gets praised, promoted, and rewarded. And without deciding it consciously, you start chasing the same signals.
I am writing this as a reminder to myself. When expectations changed after a collaboration was already underway, I chose not to agree to terms that would limit my independence. I stayed calm, explained my position, and ended things properly.
After reading Can't Hurt Me, I translated the idea into a system. My days became tight. Running early. Training. Cold plunge. Deep work blocks. Everything had a place. Nothing was accidental. But I misunderstood what Goggins was teaching.
I learned to program by moving fast. For a long time, speed was how I solved problems, learned new things, and got results. In group settings, that same speed started to have side effects.